Why Skinny Shaming Can Be Just as Toxic as Fat Shaming

I was recently at a party where a live band played a cover of All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor after introducing it “one for the ladies”. My boyfriend and I simultaneously rolled our eyes, but looking around me at women laughing and dancing, I wondered whether I was being needlessly offended.

Having studied all kinds of music at University, my brain almost automatically filters these kinds of songs out, thinking it’s just another song about butts. I did think though, I’ve never really examined the crossed paths between body positivity and pop music although it’s so prevalent in today’s society.

All About That Bass was released three years ago now, and at the time of release there was a lot of controversy, outrage, parody and more. The lyrics are explicitly sexist and antifeminist thanks to lines such as “boys they like a little more booty to hold at night” which suggests a woman should mould her body into something favourable for a man, which is not only sexually objectifying but also agrees with the idea that women should be told how their bodies should look – a message that the song contradicts with itself through an interweaving underline.

I think one of the reasons All About That Bass was so negatively received was due to the fact it’s message was almost sneaky. It sounded like it was praising women’s bodies, encouraging people to not aspire to fake beauty standards set by photoshop ideals – when in fact the opposite was true. It was praising one body type.

Although it’s not the first song to do so, for example, Sir Mix A Lot’s Baby Got Back, Waka Flocka Flame’s Round of Applause or even LL Cool J’s Big Ole Butt, but at least these artists are saying ‘hey here’s a body type I find attractive and I’m going to tell you about it’ rather than ‘this body type is the only acceptable one and if you don’t look like it boy’s won’t like you – also you’re a skinny bitch if you don’t have curves’.

The song itself is a structurally run of the mill pop song, it’s a basic four on the floor beat and an even more basic I – IV – V – I chord pattern. It’s catchy in the same way as a cold or the flu. I understand that there is a music business, and whether music should be a business or not is a different argument, but what is relevant is whether these cookie cutter, generic tunes that come out of the pop machine have a role in the underlining consciousness of society.

In terms of exposure, we hear pop music from so many different sources; radio, adverts, television, movies, social media – the amount of time we spend absorbing media is more than ever. Technologies such as WiFi and smartphones mean that we are constant contact with a plethora of content that we can access at anytime.

Whether we walk into a clothes store, a home furniture chain, or a supermarket we hear pop music. On public transport, the doctor’s surgery, or blaring out of somebody’s car window – it’s impossible to avoid even if you choose not to actively listen to the popping pop tunes that come out one after the next and all sound indistinguishable from each other.

So, are terms like “skinny bitches”, “stick-figure, silicone barbie doll” and “that boom boom that all the boys chase” dangerous in the sense that they are part of a medium that is able to become a part of the human psyche?

I’ve often found myself singing or humming along to songs subconsciously, and although I actively don’t agree with the lyrics – do I passively absorb them in a monkey-see, monkey-do sense?

Why is it okay to call someone skinny but not fat?

As someone who has been classed as clinically underweight and prescribed supplements to maintain a decent weight I’ve had my fair share of comments in the past – including but not limited to: “skinny”, “skin and bones” and “too thin” and the common questions like “do you not eat?”, “are you ill?” and the ever favourite “is she anorexic/bulimic?” I’ve been told that “it just doesn’t look nice when you are that thin.” I am not able to instantaneously sprout curves where I have not got them. I am not able to change my height from tall and lanky to petite and feminine. I am definitely not able to change my bone structure to a more substantial one. All of these things I am absolutely not sorry for. I am learning to love my body and I find comments on my body type simply annoying.

Even for this article, I’m wondering how to go about describing the other side of the argument. It’s so ingrained into our psyche that ‘fat’ is a bad word. You cannot point it out when people are overweight. If somebody is overweight and they say “am I fat?” we have to say “Oh! No! Of course not!”. So why do people think it is okay to point it out that someone is ‘skinny’? It’s not unusual to hear ‘I wear black because it makes me look thin’ or ‘those are my favourite jeans they make my legs look skinny’.

Often when weight comes up, there’s the big discussion of health. Too often I have heard, and read, opinions saying things along the lines of ‘well that’s okay – but what about their health?’ Of course, diseases such as diabetes, heart disease and arthritis are consequences of excessive body fat.

In the same way, being underweight is dangerous. In females, your periods can stop and you can become infertile. Your hair can fall out, your blood pressure can drop and without consuming enough energy for your body your brain function declines.

Body-shaming of any kind is bad, but skinny-shaming is ingrained into everyday language. It’s okay for a pop song to reprimand a body shape.

Recently a “body-positive” Instagram post went viral, in which husband Robbie Tripp wrote “I love this woman and her curvy body” about his wife. Yes! We should all praise him! He has the capacity to love another human being – how unusual.

His Instagram bio says “husband to a curvy goddess” – of course, the the first adjective concerns superficial imagery. The caption on the post goes on to talk about how Tripp is a feminist, and how curvy women have been “marginalised”, he loves his wife’s “thick thighs” and “big booty” – OH YOU MEAN THE VERY THING THAT HAS BEEN PRAISED FOR DECADES AS BEING THE SEXIEST, ULTIMATE FEMININE BODY TYPE? What a forward thinker!

He also describes that the “specific standard of beauty” is “thin, tall [and] lean.” A “real woman” has beautiful stretch marks” – so I’m sorry to say that those of us who have a sticky out tail bone that makes sitting on hard chairs a real humdinger – we are not real women. Those of us who can’t wear ballet flats because our thin, flipper like feet are to narrow to keep them on – we are not real women. If we are not real women then what are we? This style of language promotes one body type, one age, and one style. It’s so marginalising to older women, slim women, tall women, we are all different and should be celebrated as such.

The point of this article is to point out that skinny shaming can be just as bad as fat shaming – as all body shaming. It makes women feel just as isolated and lonely. It makes women feel just as unhappy and unsatisfied with their body.

All bodies deserve love and self care.